Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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