My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
