hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
