All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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