Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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