stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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