can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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