I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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