2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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