I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize