I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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