How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Randomize
