So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
