College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
50% drunk capacity currently
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
