He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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