you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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