the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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