What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize