i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
