Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
