Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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