If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
