Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
