Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
