Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
