I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
