woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My vagina just clenched in fear
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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