You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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