Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
