hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize