When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
