last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
