i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
