Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
