Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
