Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
