At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Boobs speak an international language.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
