This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
