This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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