My hand turned me down
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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