Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
