he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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