We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
