I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
