is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
