$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
