My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
