Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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