i wish starbucks made bloody marys
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Randomize
