If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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