I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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