Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
