I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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