What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
