Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
