Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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