dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
