Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
