Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
