Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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