Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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