Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize