she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
