considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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