One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
